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It creates butterflies in your belly and light-headedness in your mind.

If not understood properly, the one in the longing position can easily believe that she or he is “in love.” If the object of the longing, often called “the beloved”, does reciprocate, “the lover” often runs the other way.

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If you’ve grown up in Western culture, you’ve been inundated from the time you were born with images and beliefs about love. It’s based on the model of longing for someone that you can never completely have, and it’s this longing that then becomes mistaken for real love.

Most, if not all, of these images are predicated on the archaic paradigm of romantic love. Being in a state of longing is a dramatic and fully alive experience.

Do not beat yourself up and force yourself to live up to very impossible standards.

Treat it as an experience of growth and you will have valuable lessons for life!

As such, real love requires that both people risk their hearts to form a bond of true intimacy.